Rambles.... As I Share.

Life has been good.... well GREAT actually. Reading more, living more, trying to stress LESS! I wonder why people who see that they are not happy with their situation continue to stay and endure things that they were not meant to endure. Maybe it's because they can't see themselves in any better a position. Being in love is an awesome feeling. I can look at him and become so absorbed in his skin, his facial hair, his expression.. every fiber of his being. I laugh, I cry.... He makes me happy, and when we argue the situation makes me sad... but its all apart of living life and loving another person. Only a couple more weeks and then its the end of this semester.... I'm almost done with school. I'm a JUNIOR!!! How cool huh? Wondering what the future hold for me. Time will tell.

WITH Certainty

I am with certainty that someone is trying to get over on me... That certain someone who I put a certain amount of trust in certainly is not adhering to the rules. There is so much happening in the world that the least of my worries needs to be wondering if you are alright. I certainly have other things I can stress over. Most certain as well, is the amount of faith I have in GOD. No matter what happens in my life I am certain that HE is guiding me through and out.! So with that being said I am certain that this certain person CERTAINLY needs to understand that I see what you think I can't see.. I hear what you think I don't hear.... and I believe that Karma smiles while you frown. (she has the potential to do so ya kno?) BTW I found out some information that I did not know about my university. They participated as a distribution center for HeLa cells.... The woman who those cells belonged to died in 1951 and I am CERTAIN that her name (though long to be known) has not been in vain. Reading a new novel: The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks

What Looks Like CRAZY On An Ordinary Day

This novel has grabbed a hold of me and my life in the best possible way. It has made me conscious of the way things truly are from the eyes of a woman who made bad decisions but has the will to LIVE on. This is a New York Times Bestseller and I would not doubt it for a minute. I am a few chapters away from being finished and I thirst for the story to never end. Ava is a woman who is human. She has feelings and wants to be cared about. My black people are not appreciative as they should be. Speaking from a humanistic view point.... not one person on the face of this earth is as appreciative as they should be for their culture and ways. We are here only because the people before us have put forth the EFFORT to want to bring about a change. The only negative in life is refusing to focus on the positive. My only wish is for us to just THINK for a second. Think about the past... think about the present... think about the future. Think about what it takes to help the next person succeed. I know and understand that this is a "dog-eat-dog" world but with most of the dogs not knowing how to feast appropriately, they wind up only bringing hell to the masses of other dogs who are waiting for their shot. What is lavish luxury if you have no one to share it with? I totally agree that people need to work for everything they have but most people were influenced by someone in their lives and that single influence helped them to become the person they are. Not ONE successful person can HONESTLY say they achieved only by their solo efforts. That would be a lie that I am quickly to rebuke. I tweeted a few of my thoughts on the ways of my generation in contrast with generations before me. Anybody from 30 and younger were apart of the crowd that made things worse than what they already were. When things are being handed to you, you tend to get lax. Until you can understand the struggle or even understand more of yourself then you will be better off. And more successful.... We are a proud people. We all make mistakes but our history makes us proud. Why stop there? Why let our history STAY history? Do we not have more things to bring to the table than what is already set before us? Wake up..... Wake up and see the world before you and the work ahead of you. It's not a game.... your health is not a game.... your relationships are not games.... your education is not a game.... In my life, things happen for a reason. I was wonderfully created by a higher being that shaped me into a glorious person. I am who I am because of what I have been through. Though I may not truly like what I have been through, I have no choice but to respect it because without it I would not have the knowledge and understanding I have today. So when things look like they aren't going a certain way, just think: There is somebody wishing to experience (in my opinion) what looks like crazy on an ordinary day. Beauty is in the eye of its beholder y'all.

SICK??

OMG I canNOT be getting sick right now. BTW you guys missed my birthday. It's ok. I only turned TWENTY ONE!!!! YAY!!!!! I had a blast and was so excited. (This is also an update of how I've been doing) Tuskegee lost yesterday and I am not traveling to an away game unless they start winning some games. Went out last night and that was bomb.com!!!! I love having fun. Me and E are gr8!!! I feel so thankful to have him around. He makes me smile and laugh and oh by the way he fell in the bushes at his house and I could not stop laughing... lmaoooooooo Anyway, eating soup right now because I feel like im getting sick. I have so much on my plate that I cannot afford getting sick. So let me eat this soup and do this work and go to sleep. (well talk to my Scruffy first) :) just checking in.

..... blah

The first disagreement is the worst..... Maybe I am wrong. Maybe he is. But all I know is that I hate it. I care about him too much to have this right now...... :( The topic: how I handle disagreements and etc. #NP Usher - Here I Stand

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!!!!

I hereby declare that I, SDot, am NO LONGER on the market. EJ and I made it official on June 26th. :) I am so happy and its been a long time coming. I am ready to love this man and have him love me back. He makes me feel a way that I haven't felt since the puppy love when I dated AJ in high school. That was a childhood thing and to see me blossom on such a larger level is astonishing. What I thought it was back then was NOT how it is now. He makes me laugh, smile, think, blush, admit, consider, and more. When I went home for the 4th, I thoroughly enjoyed the time we spent together. It flies by though!!! We jokingly talk about it and he always says that "it ain't nothing but the devil". I believe him lol. God saw for it that I could meet and be with such a wonderful person. The most wonderful man in the whole wide world. There is so much that I want to give him over time. We both agree that we want a long term relationship so this is the first step to forever. :)

I want you to know how he took care of me when I was wasted. Some would think the encounter would be embarrassing for me but not at all actually. We were drinking and the drinks got the best of me. He helped me all night. Wiping my forehead and neck.... taking me to and from the bathroom..... helping me in the bed..... checking on me and sitting with me all night.... (even though there was something else going on in my house and he didn't have to do it.) I can't get over the fact that this man who I had just met decided to take care of me like he had known me for years. Nothing else mattered to him at the time but me. He respected me and treated me like I was so fragile and precious. His touch is mesmerizing.

I miss him right now.... being in summer school I can't be with him how I would like to. Now Playing: Heaven Can Wait - Michael Jackson. << why is this song singing to my heart? I want to be back in his arms again. With him there is only US. Everything else disappears.

How great is my God that he blessed me with Eric. Wanna hear something funny? We grew up together.... indirectly. I was in the same grade with his brother in middle school but we were all at the same school. I never knew him but I know ALL the people he hangs with. (0_o) Took me for a loop too. How can we be so close but so far? Another funny thing to tell is how when I first met him I knew I wanted to be with him. He felt the same... but we didn't tell each other. We spoke of it to my play brother (his best friend) Vincent. My bro Vincent is also a blessing to my life because if it wasn't for him bringing EJ with him down to my house I would have never had my life change for the better. He got to see me for who I was that weekend as I with him. I believe in destiny and love at first sight. I told him a few days ago that I was falling... he said "Baby I've already fell... i'm just waiting on you."

Thinking about him brings tears to my eyes because he is what I need in my life. It is an incredible thing to find someone and have them to complete you in a way that fills you up and makes you think every day with them will be great and magical. He is more than a man to me. He is my best friend... my sharer of secrets... my amen corner... my wake up call.... the person who heals me. I always have a song to sing!!!

"And there will be heartaches and pains, yes it will
But through it all, we will remain
In this life, we all know
Friends may come, and they may go
Through the years I know
I will stay
And in the end I know that we'll find
Love so beautiful and divine
We'll be lovers for a lifetime, yeah
And I'll stay with you
I will stay with you"
- John Legend

This Weekend With EJ...

I am uber excited to spend this weekend with EJ!!!! And I did say UBER!!! He's hella cool and this weekend will give me a chance to get to know him and feel him out without anyone else being around to hinder that. BTW he is such a cutie too :) LOLz #NP Cause I Love You - Lenny Williams and "oh SHIT!" << His response. Birmingham ppl know bout good music. Anywho guys just letting you know that this weekend is one to anticipate on being bomb af. Hopefully movie tomorrow :)

P.S. I haven't been feeling the best this past week because I was diagnosed with the FLU :(... like OMG its the SUMMER!!!! But I am feeling so much better because GOD looks out for me on the daily. Thank you Lord.

AND another P.S...... Nursing classes are going great and I am really excited to start this new chapter of my life. Wish me luck!!!!!

Over.... and Out!

Nursing Program So Far

This is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me!!! I am studying right now actually (minus the break to blog) and I feel that my hard work has sustained me with GOD's loving hand to get to this point. It is an honor to be in school to be in charge of one of the most important duties into this world; taking care of a human being. I think nurses are GOD's angels on earth. My professor Mrs. Crew-Gooden told my class "don't say you're GOING to be a nurse... you already ARE one. And you need to think like a nurse at all times." I am forever blessed and I am anticipation very good things to come. *as I go back to studying* :)

Summer School..... This time around

My second summer at Tuskegee..........

I love this school dont'cha know?

While I listen to the Raphael Saadiq Pandora station (makes my heart smile), I think over my life so far. I've accomplished quite a few (more than a few) tasks. Being able to enter the nursing program was a blessing. I am really excited and it is ASTRONOMICAL!!! << Word our program guest for SERP continued to use more than was deemed necessary to make a point.

I am soooo ready to start my nursing classes... kinda confusing right? Had me the same way... but we start orientation tomorrow and that's kool... I guess. This SERP thing was a damper on my idea of this summer... I like having ideas and running with them. Shoutout to Amazon.com for suppling me with the books this summer. Wasn't free but if you need books, they're the place to go.

I should be getting ready to go to sleep so I can make my parent's proud of me. Just the life and times of me... *shrugs*

It's a BEAUTIFUL day in the neighborhood.!

ATTENTION!!!!!!!!

Guess what?????? Video blog coming SOON!!!

Update on Life

Well its been a while since I've posted. Things are going really swell for me. My grades are getting better and this weather is beautiful!!! I was supposed to attend and participate in this Spoken Word thing last night but my friend Marlon forgot to remind me. ((SOOOOO much stuff has been going on lately)) Also, I'm so ready for Spring Break 2011 to get here!!!! I'm not going anywhere but just knowing that I don't have to go to school is a wonderful thing in itself. Not that I dislike going to school, but everyone needs a break now and then.

I have also been reading this novel entitled Jane Eyre..... LONGEST EVER!!!!! :|
It is a good read but just takes so dang long to finish.... we sit in lecture and most people are really behind. My professors seem to think that the only class I have is theirs. Or maybe they just don't care. Anywho, I am so exicited to go to church this Sunday!!! I need to go. I missed last Sunday and it feels like forever since I've gone.

But other than that, Life is Good. Sincerely, S.Dot :)

Mt. Olive service was WONDERFUL today!!!

I felt truly moved today by church service. Now, no matter what your denomination is, I hope that you understand and are faithful to it. In my case, GOD, my Creator, has shown me so much mercy in my 20 years of living. It feels good to know that I was created in his image and that He gave His son for MY sins. Selfless indeed.

Scripture from todays sermon: Ephesians 4:17-24

It was saying that as believers we should strive to be different. Different in the sense that we recognize and DO the right thing (Shouts out to Spike Lee). The people in the world who don't do better are the ones who don't KNOW better and who have not yet opened themselves up unto the Lord.

Don't get me wrong... we all make mistakes. I am no where near perfect and I do slip up; but there is an understanding of repentance for my sins.

Also, there is not ONE person on earth who can judge you. They did not make you to know how you are supposed to be anyway. GOD did. He made you the way you are supposed to be (goes back to the "difference" among people".

Today was also "Tuskegee University Student's Day" at Mt. Olive

I hope reading this is an inspiration to someone. :)

Is this meant for Women or Black People.?

We have been thrown down so low that nobody thought we'd ever get up again; but we have been long enough trodden now; we will come up again, and now I am here.

This is a very powerful quote.

I first see women. If only women knew the power they possessed. Instead of being so mad at another woman's success, support her. So one day she can support you in sisterhood. It's crazy how women as a whole can complain of being behind, being disrespected, and being under appreciated when they tend to do all of the above to themselves. I am striving to uplift the female population. And its funny that I say that. I have made HORRIBLE choices as a female. But to learn from them is the most important thing. I'm not trying to be super save-a-hoe but all this bullshit from women isn't called for. So stop complaining and FIX IT!!!

Secondly, I see black people. We (well not really "we" because I haven't had to go through anything so lets say OUR RACE) has been through alot.

I'm having writers block LOL. Just saw a tweet where somebody said that they would vote for somebody into office for our schools SGA because they would look good in office. Is that all that matters to yall? Looks? Well what is he going to do as President? Party all the time? Is that the kind of legacy yall trying to leave for Tuskegee? Because I will be the first to say fuck yall. (honestly)

Ok, back to black people. It is a struggle to get ahead. Not much of a struggle. And it's not because of the "man". It's because the African-American race tends to bring itself down and because we tend to think that there is a wall up. Baby there is only the wall you build for yourself. If you think you can't you CAN'T. If you think you have haters... (well I never think I have haters. I am normal just like everybody else. There is nothing to hate on. If you would like to be my friend then just introduce yourself. There should not be one person who envy's me.... welp. i lied. I'm a woman. I appreciate the body i have, the mind i have, and the way i express myself)

Just my thoughts. If you like reading feel free to subscribe. :)

When Will It Be MY Time

Ok.... this is NOT a post on account of Valentine's Day coming up. This is because the subject has been on my mind for a while.

I'm listening to Janet's "I Get Lonely" and the saying that "once you love someone, you always will" is QUITE true. (I bet Miya is grimacing at that statement) Well I wonder why I'm single sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I love being single and not having a commitment, but there are times when I need someone in my corner and who will be that other half. I realize that I must not misunderstand this fact: nobody can receive their other half if they aren't whole themselves.

#NP Cupid - 112 <--- this is so ironic.

I am not saddened by this at all. I walk around campus everyday and see males of all types. Are one of the Tuskegee Gentlemen for me? Or will I have to wait on the future? There is no point in rushing what cannot be rushed.

Also, what am I going to do about me not wanting to be bothered all the time? I think I've answered my question. Once I sit and think of what I have to bring to the table I cannot receive if I'm not in a position to give.

First I have to give HIM (GOD) all of myself before I can give even an ounce of myself to a boyfriend.

this is just another entry into the life and times of me. :)

It's Almost FEBRUARY!!!

This month has moved sooo fast!!! Not quite over yet but I still am SOOOOO ready for Feb. It's the month of my sisters birthday. Also the month of Valentine's Day. PHOOEY!!!! Work study Threads Studying.... didn't put commas because they are seemingly one big task. Anywho just doing a drive by on old Bloggy. LOL TTYL

Katherine Philips: Friend's Mystery

This is a poem discussed in my Women in Literature class.

Come, my Lucasia, since we see
That miracles men's faith do move,
By wonder and by prodigy
To the dull angry world let's prove
There's a religion in our love.

For though we were designed t' agree,
That fate no liberty destroys,
But our election is as free
As angels', who with greedy choice
Are yet determined to their joys. 10

Our hearts are doubled by the loss,
Here mixture is addition grown ;
We both diffuse and both engross,
And we whose minds are so much one,
Never, yet ever, are alone.

We court our own captivity,
Than thrones more great and innocent ;
`Twere banishment to be set free,
Since we wear fetters whose intent
Not bondage is, but ornament. 20

Divided joys are tedious found,
And griefs united easier grow ;
We are ourselves but by rebound,
And all our titles shuffled so,
Both princes, and both subjects too.

Our hearts are mutual victims laid,
While they, such power in friendship lies,
Are altars, priests, and off'rings made ;
And each heart which thus kindly dies
Grows deathless by the sacrifice. 30

My teacher spoke on it from the point of her being too "in love" with her best friend. I believe that indeed her letter was a bit more personal than should be between two women, but I don't think it to be that deep. Having read the passage twice for clearer understanding, I came to the conclusion that she is speaking of the bond that women have. A bond that a woman and man (even in marriage) could never have. <-- which is kinda the point my teacher made. (minus the in love thing) What do YOU think? :)

Love...

What is love?
Who loves?
Is it the man with the money.. Or the man who can barely feed his family?
No matter what happens you HAVE to love something, someone, or some idea.
Ok so basically I want everyone to know that LOVE doesn't take alot of effort.

HAVE A WONDERFUL MONDAY!!! :)

Am I REALLY that hard??

Am I too hard in some peoples opinions? I like to speak and mean what I say. I think I am really honest in a blunt sort of way. Honestly BLUNT... maybe Bluntly HONEST sounds more correct. LOL. I know that I am a literalist and being that sort of person has deemed me to loathe certain situations, phrases, etc.. I have kinda decided that maybe I am. Or.... maybe they just don't understand. The way I grew up was this: "You don't have an opinion. If I want it I will ask for it. Anything you do wrong is NOT up for discussion. Its what I say. My word is LAW." That caused me to be VERY quiet growing up. Plus I always felt awkward around people like I wasn't good enough. Like I wasn't on their level. I don't like the word "level" because I feel like I will never be on a step ladder. I am on a road. Maybe 5 miles back is where these people decided to rest. I will keep trucking. LOL.. Anywho, just my thought. :)

I'm chilling right now. Not on the beach but in my apartment. :) same fun, diff environment. Not trying to bring sand to the beach anyway. LOLz

WORK + SICKNESS = MAJOR CRAP WEEK

I have been feeling icky for almost a week. Also, I've been working like crazy. This cold or whatever has caught up to me in the worst way because my body is in shambles and I cannot believe I have so much work to do. I'm praying that GOD sees me through a speedy recovery.

SNOW DAY!!!!! (but where's the snow) 0_o

I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE my university!!!! TUSKEGEE UNIVERSITY ROCKS!!!!! But.... the state of Alabama is in a sort of "shut down" due to weather thats supposed to be here. Its just cold and rainy outside. No snow storm.... no hail storm.... nothing. It is quite alright though because school AND work was cancelled today. I get to work at my work study job tonight so I won't have to worry about missing out on hours. :)

Weird?

Whats the true definition of WEIRD?
Nobody really knows....

But I had a conversation with someone over the Christmas break,
and he said no one is WEIRD. Everyone is entitled to be different;

Those differences are what tend to be categorized as WEIRD.

Ok... point blank. NOBODY is WEIRD. I prefer to be different and it makes me one
bad ass chick. #ijs